CLUBS AND CONTROVERSY
For some reason in Philthadelphia, PA, the club scene is so fragile. It's like the egos that preside over the club scene. It is rare that controversy does not erupt. When I first got into the public scene, rumors plagued me. Funny, because I didn't even know anyone well enough for this to happen. When you enter into the BDSM scene in Philly, expect it. If you don't, you'll be not so pleasantly surprised.
Recently, a club called the Black Phoenix was erected. But as soon as this happened, the poor Phoenix was knocked to the ground amidst a crazy controversy. Right now, there is a hope that it will rise again from the ashes, but, its untimely demise has left a poor taste in everyone's mouth. The reason it went belly-up is still swirling around and yes, surprise! rumors abound. I felt like I was back in the schoolyard with the proverbial bullies and catty classmates. He said, she said has been posted in most BDSM newsgroups in the tri-state area. A lot of questions have gone unanswered and some of it, quite honestly, does not add up. According to most in the community, this is also the feeling. It is like a bad movie that went straight to DVD. The concern now is that this brain fart of a circumstance has caused a chasm in the community. I have to ask, "why?" Really, why??? Personally, I equate this to going to the supermarket. I want to buy what I need to and leave. I don't need to know that the produce manager and the the cashier at checkout line #8 don't get along. My purpose to go there is to pay for my stuff and go. The division that some claim has occurred in the Philly BDSM scene could have been curtailed. Let's face it, the schism occurred due to some big mouth decided to provide the low down in their words even after it was asked that this not be done repeatedly. So there, yeah, I said it, and everyone is thinking it. It seems so many people are wrapped up in that story that the people so named as the infiltrators and destroyers have been left by the wayside without a means to say their side of the story. So, there might be two clubs in Philly. Some are in an uproar. Why? Again, I ask why??? Isn't there more than one supermarket? Am I going to piss off the Acme corp if I go to Giant? I don't think so. And now, it is being asked that after the damage is done, "we" are requested to keep our mouths shut, support one person or "else." Well, I don't play that way and most people don't. I had gone a handful of times, and found it enjoyable. Sure, there were things that needed to be fixed, but over time they were done. This is the case with any business getting off the ground. We need to support our community, not destroy it. And sadly, over the years I've seen this happen time and time again. So, the great country of BDSM in Philly has built its wall. How f-ing stupid. Here are my ideas to prevent this in future:
1. Keep business, business. No one needs to know that you or anyone associated with a club, etc has had a falling out. (See my supermarket thing above). This makes sense. We all work and we all know that not everyone gets along. That's life.
2. Silence your cheerleaders. When someone posts something that is not productive, remove it, and do that immediately. Seriously, that only breeds hate.
3. Keep it simple, stupid. Build a club and they will come. Provide a safe environment and a good space. That's all we need, well, snacks, too. And water, lots of bottled water. Pretty simple. Supermarket = food, BDSM club = fun. Make me want to come back and patronize you and spread the goodness to others about your club.
4. Leave your egos at the door. I care that you erected a club, but that's about it. Let me come to it and pay you the money owed. I don't need to hear how great you are or how fabulous you think you are. I'm fabulous too but I don't run around saying it.
5. Grow up! That should be enough said, really, but let me expand on that. Let people communicate. A break down in communication leads to uncertainty which then leads to abandonment. We're outta high school, we don't need to have cliques. If you don't like my or someone else's opinion, then leave it. Be respectful. We are all people. We all have feelings. I don't care if you are a Top or bottom, you are human first with all of those emotions.
For some reason in Philthadelphia, PA, the club scene is so fragile. It's like the egos that preside over the club scene. It is rare that controversy does not erupt. When I first got into the public scene, rumors plagued me. Funny, because I didn't even know anyone well enough for this to happen. When you enter into the BDSM scene in Philly, expect it. If you don't, you'll be not so pleasantly surprised.
Recently, a club called the Black Phoenix was erected. But as soon as this happened, the poor Phoenix was knocked to the ground amidst a crazy controversy. Right now, there is a hope that it will rise again from the ashes, but, its untimely demise has left a poor taste in everyone's mouth. The reason it went belly-up is still swirling around and yes, surprise! rumors abound. I felt like I was back in the schoolyard with the proverbial bullies and catty classmates. He said, she said has been posted in most BDSM newsgroups in the tri-state area. A lot of questions have gone unanswered and some of it, quite honestly, does not add up. According to most in the community, this is also the feeling. It is like a bad movie that went straight to DVD. The concern now is that this brain fart of a circumstance has caused a chasm in the community. I have to ask, "why?" Really, why??? Personally, I equate this to going to the supermarket. I want to buy what I need to and leave. I don't need to know that the produce manager and the the cashier at checkout line #8 don't get along. My purpose to go there is to pay for my stuff and go. The division that some claim has occurred in the Philly BDSM scene could have been curtailed. Let's face it, the schism occurred due to some big mouth decided to provide the low down in their words even after it was asked that this not be done repeatedly. So there, yeah, I said it, and everyone is thinking it. It seems so many people are wrapped up in that story that the people so named as the infiltrators and destroyers have been left by the wayside without a means to say their side of the story. So, there might be two clubs in Philly. Some are in an uproar. Why? Again, I ask why??? Isn't there more than one supermarket? Am I going to piss off the Acme corp if I go to Giant? I don't think so. And now, it is being asked that after the damage is done, "we" are requested to keep our mouths shut, support one person or "else." Well, I don't play that way and most people don't. I had gone a handful of times, and found it enjoyable. Sure, there were things that needed to be fixed, but over time they were done. This is the case with any business getting off the ground. We need to support our community, not destroy it. And sadly, over the years I've seen this happen time and time again. So, the great country of BDSM in Philly has built its wall. How f-ing stupid. Here are my ideas to prevent this in future:
1. Keep business, business. No one needs to know that you or anyone associated with a club, etc has had a falling out. (See my supermarket thing above). This makes sense. We all work and we all know that not everyone gets along. That's life.
2. Silence your cheerleaders. When someone posts something that is not productive, remove it, and do that immediately. Seriously, that only breeds hate.
3. Keep it simple, stupid. Build a club and they will come. Provide a safe environment and a good space. That's all we need, well, snacks, too. And water, lots of bottled water. Pretty simple. Supermarket = food, BDSM club = fun. Make me want to come back and patronize you and spread the goodness to others about your club.
4. Leave your egos at the door. I care that you erected a club, but that's about it. Let me come to it and pay you the money owed. I don't need to hear how great you are or how fabulous you think you are. I'm fabulous too but I don't run around saying it.
5. Grow up! That should be enough said, really, but let me expand on that. Let people communicate. A break down in communication leads to uncertainty which then leads to abandonment. We're outta high school, we don't need to have cliques. If you don't like my or someone else's opinion, then leave it. Be respectful. We are all people. We all have feelings. I don't care if you are a Top or bottom, you are human first with all of those emotions.
